24th January 2024 - Trust your process
So I did my oracle card pulls for myself today, the cards were Seeing Beyond and Metamorphosis. I was initially tempted to reach for the little book to see what it said because I was tired and it seemed easier to hand myself over to someone elses wisdom but then I looked, I just sat doing nothing other than just being with my breath and the cards.
Slowly I felt the energy change within me, resistance to trusting myself disolve. I grabbed my pen and began to journal.
I asked myself the question where do I put limits on myself...what came through is how I follow the expected path, trusting others processes over my own - not doing things that active my creativity and not trusting my intuition when it comes to myself.
I realised I had just been about to do that when I reached for the booklet.
Sometimes when we are tired it is easier to just give away power to another and of course it is absolutely it is ok to ask for help but from a empowered choice place not depleted not good enough place. Sometimes we just need to sit with the feelings until it changes, until it metaphorises.
The metamorphosis card has a butterfly the ultimate transformer, it literally sits, desolves before emerging changed. I am sure it is not a comfortable process but it is necessary.
The journal prompt on the card is "What requires transformation in life and business?" And there it is - I intuitively know yet I continue to avoid the discomfort of change.
Last week I mentioned word I had loved after hearing it, Eolas, which embodies spirit and freedom - the essence of my 5-5 soul plan dominant vibration. Sometimes I am feeling like the tame wolf who knows she has a wild free heard but has forgotton the how during the taming. It is Wolf Full Moon tomorrow - it is time to transform and trust the intuitive process what ever that means or creates!
27th January 2024 - Wild and Free
I have increasingly been using Focus Mode on my mobile to prevent distractions but I have always had the knowing that my mobile was with me should I need it. Today, there was no weight in my pocket, no sense that I could use it if need be.
It wasn't intentional that I left it behind it just happened while loading kids and a dog into the car. When I arrived I reached for it to tuck it away in case I needed it. When I realised it wasn't there the thought arose what if something happens whilst in the woods and I need to contact someone? This is not a remote location - it was a quite popular woodland park so not a real concern but my mind made it so. Or what if there is a great photo opportunity? Yep that one came up - as you may have realised if you follow me I love to take photos and I love sharing them on my page! I felt uncomfortable. Anxious thoughts about missed opportunities surfaced.
But as we walked I felt the tension release...there was no need to be on the lookout for something to capture and share. The world or my business did not end because we saw a 'dryad' in an old tree stump and I couldn't capture it on digital film (yes it did look like real-life dryad!). Instead, it became a lovely visual memory stored in my memory banks as did most of the walk.
How interesting. even when we think we are being present often we are still being distracted in the background. It was liberating.
As I sat on a bench waiting for my boys I realised that I would probably normally reach for my phone to distract me from an unplanned, unscripted alone moment. Trying to do something to somehow fill the space. I often consciously make time for 'being present' moments but I have come to realise that those unexpected ones are the ones I try to fill with something.
Somehow I am uncomfortable with not doing it when it isn't planned. Maybe we need to have more awareness of how we deal with the unexpected - how we fill the voids and empty spaces....mindless scrolling of social media, consuming food or Netflix to do something other than deal with the spaces in between.
So here is to those unexpected spaces in between that can reveal so much!