This is the journey I took to start living my life on purpose by healing the disconnect that was held me back.

As I share my journey I will point out some of the key take aways that can help you with your own soul alignment journey

I am going to start with the saying ‘If nothing changes then nothing changes'

It took me too long to realise this!

And also it took too long to realise that this was an inside out change!

Before the crisis point, I tried making external changes to improve the things that weren’t working but it didn’t make a difference and I would circle back to this overwhelmed, stuck person that felt unfulfilled.

My life Now

Hi my name is Anita I am a Soul Alignment Coach, Energy Healer and Soul Plan Teacher, I live in the Uk with my lovely family, my partner, our 2 boys and one recent addition our lovely fur baby a puppy. But 16 years ago or so ago,  I was an high paid IT Architect/Consultant working in London stressed out, burning out and living from holiday to holiday to recover.

Thankfully the universe, source gave me the kick I needed and a few little guidance’s helped to change all that.

Awakening  

Sometimes that awakening or awareness can happen over time and sometimes you are jolted into it.

For me it was a bit of a combination but predominately the latter.

In many ways I consider the start of my story the day I collapsed on the ground in the little park outside the London office where I was working on a high pressure project. My head was like cotton wool and I struggled to speak, a work collegue was with me at the time and ended up calling an ambulance. In the ambulance things started to clear and the doctor at the hospital thought I had experienced a TIA (Trans Ischemic Attack) – it put me at risk of having a stroke. I was 33.

Needlessly to say I was signed off work and that was the start of my soul alignment journey and  when the synchronicities began to happen…

Soul Alignment and Sychronicities

Now as I see it soul alignment is the purpose of life. To live in alignment with the authentic essence of who you are, your soul because that is where you experience of joy, peace, love, fulfillment, and abundance.

And beautiful sychronicities happen to get you there – magical meetings or timings, weird unexplainable happenings or things repeatedly showing up that guide you to a deeper sense that you’re where you’re supposed to be and who you’re supposed to be.

My synchronicities guided me to travel through India and Asia, to deepen my understanding of true self and to heal the disconnect between my inner and outer world.

Look out for synchronicities – they are the universe or source giving you little nudge in the right direction.

The true beginnings, the opinions of others 

Though if I truly honest the story starts much earlier as the soul that came into the world as a sensitive only child. That was wrapped in cotton wool but by a Mother who loved me but loved me to the point she stopped living her own life.

Being a sensitive empathic child, I easily picked up on people feelings and hated any disharmony.

And I felt that I need to be the everything for my parents and not do anything to upset them even if that meant giving up my own truth. I learnt to stifled my words and my choices in preference of others – that was the start of my disconnection.

I also felt life energies – it made me slightly different from other children open to ridicule or darn right bullying and being the sensitive only child I did not know how to handle or deal with so I tried to become invisible and hide those parts - a denial of my own light and magic, my own quirky unique expression. Furthering my disconnection.

It was a pattern I was to carry into adulthood that would effected lots of my choices and effected my relationships.

I wanted to go to art college but I felt my mothers fears and so I modified take a year out and work whilst I decided. I ended up working in IT Support which I actually enjoyed and didn’t go to college in the end.

Then came the should – you should advance and go for promotion. After all you promotion shows you are good enough right?!

That was is another potential source of disconnection to value yourself by external measures.

Broken open

But long hours, pressure and work I no longer enjoyed took a toll on my health  and lead me to my laying on the ground in that London Park.

That was my wake up and when the synchronicities started happening helping to help to lift the haze not just of my college but the one I had been living in.

One of those sychronicity that happened was that a book literally fell of the book shelf in a book shop during my time signed off for work! Being Your Own Life – this is that book!

As I worked through it so much came to the surface, so much negative self talk about myself – very little self love. So much I dreamed about doing but hadn’t dared from fear – fear of upsetting others, fear that I was not good enough or capable (being protected and cotton wool leaves you with a lack of belief in yourself because every challenge you are either protected from or rescued from!

In those scribblings were dreams of travel to exotic places – trekking not as a package tour holiday excursion but bold pioneering travel. For my GCSE’s I wrote a story about an expedition into the jungle. But the question of my capabilities surfaced.

I scribbled, I journaled, I poured heart and soul, tears of pain. I was laid raw, split open in my awareness.

You have to be willing to look deep inside and see your truth – all parts of you the bits that like and the bits you judge and you don’t like.

Don’t underestimate the importance of this.

Somewhere amongst it all is the key and somewhere in there is the thing that will sabotage you and return you where you were if it is not healed and cleared.

This is one of the most important parts that help bring you into soul alignment and helps you to heal the disconnect.

And that dear soul is the first step on the journey to living your fulfilled life…awareness of who you are warts and all, awareness of hidden dreams.

More Synchronicity

Another synchronicity – a few months before all of this my Grandad had died unexpectedly –it happened a little before his birthday and I had planned on adopting an Orangutan in his name. He had a love of great apes as did I and this seemed like a perfect gift – supporting rehabilitation program in Borneo. I went ahead and adopted anyway instead receiving the newsletters he would have received. During my signed off time I had time to read it , it talked of 2 months volunteering program working with Orangutans in Borneo.

There was a tingle the excitement that went through me before the negative self talk. But the niggle would not go away,

Soul Alignment begins with a little spark, a little flicker that will not go away.

I picked up the phone and asked about volunteering – she explained there was a 2 year wait but strangely just that week someone had had to give up a position in 6 months time and none of the waitlist could make the day which was weird as usually they filled up so quickly. That is synchronicity in action

Strangely I found myself saying yes I would apply without my usually overthinking. Maybe I didn’t really believe I would be accepted but I was. Then it was like OMG how the hell was I going to do this…this was ridiculous I had a mortgage, a house, a job, what would Mum say! I couldn’t survive in a jungle could I? But instead of saying no I journaled more.

This is another part of the soul alignment journey starting to believing that there is a way you just have to find it.

Being willing to let go

Maybe I could get a sabbatical but something inside screamed Nooooooo! But giving up a good job for 2 months – why? Ok lets make it 6 months. I planned a meditation retreat,  a trek in the Himalyas and a little visit to India but as organised excursions rather than the free travel of my dreams – I had still not healed those patterns yet.

Then I told my Mum – you can imagine the response. All the trying to talk me out of it.

Being aware was already healing the disconnect and for the first time in my life I walked a path that diverged from being the good daughter.

Then came telling work they tried to persuade me to the sabbatical route but I was ready to let go of the should and the need for a status job.

That is another healing, you have to be willing to let go of the old patterns, the old stories and the old you because they are keeping you from being aligned and fulfilled.

Rock that boat

For the first time in myself life I was rocking the boat, first time in my life I was saying yes to me and what I wanted.

And this is another healing the disconnect that you may need– say yes to yourself – believing you are worth it and that you are capable – that you are good enough or at least good enough to learn.

I was starting to feel alive and excited – I realised how deadened I had been for so long emotionally, physically and mentally.

Outer or Inner Journey?

So July 2007 I boarded a plane to Borneo, I don’t think I realised the journey I was beginning I was only really seeing the physical journey I was planning but it was the start of an inward journey – something I call my journey into soul – soul being into the core of myself and connect with my soul and purpose.

During my time volunteering and time in Borneo I feel I finally grew up - pushed myself and took some risks and discovered I was more than capbable.

Art of the pause

Another significant point on the journey was during the meditation retreat. As I stood on the terrace overlooking Katmandu Valley. In the quiet I suddenly was aware of something else– the flow of energies and my body, and the inner whispers of yes this is right for me or no that isn't. I was being reconnected to both in the quiet pause out of the busyiness.  

A dragonfly on the banks of the Ganges also reaffirmed the art of the sacred pause in the busyness but that is a different story.

Busyiness can often be a way to hide from the pain of unfullfillness and feeling lost – drowning out the emotions and feelings.

Onward Travel

In the monastery I met a Westerner exploring the Buddhist Monk path, He was due to go to Thailand for Christmas to meet an old friend, he invited me to join them. It meant ditching some of the organised trip I had planned into India

I could hear the inner whispers of my soul telling me this was a yes there was a growth to happen from saying yes.

My flight rearrange I informed my parents I would not be coming home for Christmas as planned.

I was getting bolder and more confident, no longer choosing safe known options – I was trusting something inside me but also outside of me - the soul whispers guiding me to where I needed to go for more learning and growth.

And more sychronicities

There were so many synchronicities that happened – people, places and repeated hearing about something. One of which led me to a coffee shop with an attached bookshop which meant another book came into my procession this one on Chakras, so much healing and awareness from reading those pages and sparked an interest in energy healing and then I found a Reiki Course being run in a place I happened to stay in because the bathroom in my original place developed a fault.

Learning Reiki allowed me to channel my energy sensitivity in to a healing practice for myself and for others. It lit me up – a spark of purpose and calling was growing inside. I have since gone on to learn more energy healing modalities like EFT and Atlantean Paddles

Using them to energetical heal me from where I am disconnected from my light, my self love, my truth and my power -  allowing me to express my true self without fear, shame or guilt.

Coming Home

But was it possible to hold true back home – was I ready to return. I wanted to travel more but being locked out of my bank account with dwindling access to funds I believe was the Universe nudging me that this part of the journey was over 6 months had become 16 months.

So what now…

All too often on my journey I ended up been complemented on my ability to see really deeply into people and more than once Life Coaching was mentioned – sychronities can come in repeats remember. It led me to applying for a Spiritual Counselling and Life Coaching even before I actually returned home to start a new chapter in my life as a Life Coach and Energy Healer.